How Do I Know If He's Playing Me

Download Commodity

If yous're really feeling a guy and aren't sure if he's on the same page, it tin cause y'all a lot of stress and self-uncertainty. If you're not sure if the guy is playing with you, then yous demand to think nearly the things he does and says when you lot're together. Though there's no foolproof way to know if he's playing with you unless you ask him or catch him in the act, there are many signs that he'south non being genuine with you, and it'due south important to know if you lot should watch out as soon as possible.

one
See if he'll only hang out with you in certain parts of town. One way to know if he's playing with yous is to meet if he's comfy hanging out with you anywhere or if he gets nervous or reluctant if you desire to hang out in a new office of town or proceed a new adventure. If he acts this manner, information technology may exist because he's been hanging out with other girls in other parts of town and doesn't want to have whatsoever bad-mannered run-ins. If yous want to know if he'due south playing you, you should casually mention that you want to go to to a dissimilar eating place, different moving-picture show theatre, or another public park in town to run into if information technology makes a difference to him.
- If he'due south really playing y'all, then he probably has his balancing act down to an art. If you effort to alter his usual schedule, then you may be able to phone call his bluff.
- Ask yourself if he's always the 1 who decides where y'all should go. Of course, he may just desire to take charge for other reasons, but this could be a giveaway that he wants to steer you away from places where you're likely to run in to some of his other ladies.
2
See if he's reluctant to run across your friends or to have you lot run across his. ^[one] If your guy never wants to meet your friends, it may exist considering he doesn't want to brand the relationship a serious delivery. If he doesn't want y'all to meet his friends, it may exist for the same reason, with the additional worry that his friends may say something about the other girls he's seeing. Whether he's seeing someone else or not, if you've been together for a while and he's shown no involvement in wanting to encounter your friends or have you run into his, then it's a red flag.^[two]
- If he doesn't want to get a bigger part of your life, then information technology's because he doesn't desire things to get too serious.
- That said, if yous try to rush him into meeting your friends, or even your family, later just a few weeks of dating, then you may be moving as well fast. He may have legitimate reasons for taking things slow, like wanting to brand sure he knows where things stand, or giving his friends some time to become used to the idea of him having a new girlfriend considering he recently got out of a serious human relationship.
Advertisement
3
See if he acts weird if he runs into you in public. If things are corking when you and your guy are alone and he suddenly gives yous the cold shoulder when y'all encounter him at the mall or outside a restaurant, then something is definitely upwards. Either he's acting weird considering he's seeing another girl and doesn't want to be seen with you, or considering he doesn't desire his friends or anyone else to think he's dating y'all. Either style, this should exist a cause for concern.
- If he really cares for y'all, then he should be excited to run across you and should fifty-fifty show y'all some affection. Of form, he doesn't have to be as affectionate in public every bit he would be in private, but he should act like he really wants to come across y'all. ^[3]
- Check out his body language. Does he make eye contact and move toward you? If so, and then that'southward a good sign. But if he stands abroad from you, crosses his artillery over his breast, and keeps looking around instead of looking at you, so this ways that he's trying to proceed his distance.
four
See if he's reluctant to be affectionate with you in public. If you two go out on a date but he acts like you lot're brother and sister, then you should be asking yourself why. If he'south playing you, and so he doesn't want the world to know that he's seeing y'all, either because he's as well seeing someone else or he but wants to keep his options open up. Though not all guys are into holding easily, for example, he should want to give yous some sort of affection if he really cares for yous.
- Y'all don't desire to put the force per unit area on him to be appreciating in public as well early, simply if you've gone on several dates and he still stands a human foot away from you any time you lot're out together, then this may be a cause for business.
5
Come across if he's sweet to y'all ane infinitesimal and distant the next. If he's all loving, sweet, kind, and wanting to kiss you one minute and and then the next, he acts like he barely knows who you are, and then this may exist because he'due south playing with you. Maybe he's in the mood to hang out with you on certain days, while he thinks he has better things to exercise on others. Whether this means he'd rather hang with another girl or spend time with his buddies, if he'south e'er hot and cold, and then he's definitely playing with you.^[4]
- Call up about it: does he often go out you feeling dislocated most what he really feels about you or where you lot stand with him? If and then, then this may exist because he's playing with your emotions.^[five]
six
Run across if he would never give up a night with his friends for you. If the guy is playing with y'all, then he'll never think that you come beginning with him. He would e'er spend a night out with his buddies, but when it comes to you, he'll just hang out with you on certain times, when you suspect that his friends might be busy or that he has nix else on his social agenda. If he really likes you, then he'll call back of you as a priority, not every bit social sloppy seconds. If you desire to know if he's playing with you lot, see if he'll ever give upwardly a night with his friends for a squeamish evening with y'all.
- If the guy is serious about yous, then he should be excited about hanging out with y'all instead of his friends, at least some of the time. Though y'all don't want him to give up his other friends or his social life for you completely, if he makes no compromises for you at all, so it may be because he's playing with y'all.
7
See if he's shady with his phone. One dead giveaway that a guy is playing with you is that he'southward very secretive when it comes to his telephone. If he's always checking his phone and then texting away from your direction, stepping out to take calls a lot without telling you lot who called, or goes hours without picking upwardly his phone with no explanation, then information technology may be because he's playing you lot. Of course, some guys are protective about their privacy and that's perfectly normal, but if he's always on his phone and y'all never know what he's doing, then it may be a red flag that he's playing you.
- Think about it: does he always get out his phone out, even for a 2d, or is information technology always stuck in his pocket? Though you don't want to snoop through it, if you can tell that he's freaked out fifty-fifty about the idea of you seeing who is calling or texting him, then you may have a problem.
- Another affair you can look out for is if he turns off his telephone completely when he'southward hanging out with yous. Though this may be a sweet gesture to give you his total attention, it may also be his fashion of warding off other girls who might be calling him when you're together.

ane
See if he's always saying he'due south likewise busy for y'all but he seems to accept plenty of time for everyone else. If you've heard him tell y'all how busy he is once more and again, saying that he doesn't have 10 complimentary minutes for anyone, and then you heard that he spent his night out with a bunch of friends, and then this may be a sign that he'due south playing with y'all. The truth of the thing is that if a guy really wants to hang out with you, that he'll observe the time to do information technology. Though there are exceptions if he actually does get super busy, if you find out that he's spending that fourth dimension with other people, and so it should exist a crusade for business concern.^[6]
- If he says he's busy studying or doing work and so you observe out that he's been doing something else, fifty-fifty if he'south merely hanging out with his brother, then he's playing you. If he cared for you, and so he'd be honest about what he was doing instead of lying.
2
See if he's reluctant to commit to annihilation more than ii weeks in the futurity. If your guy tries to change the subject any time you try to talk virtually the future, even if yous're only talking about your holiday plans, which are a month abroad, and so this may exist a sign that he'south playing you. If he's serious about yous, then he'll want to see you lot every bit a part of his hereafter and he won't back off when you lot bring information technology up.^[7]
- Of course, if you've been dating for three weeks and start talking virtually your wedding, it'southward natural that he'll freak out, but if y'all merely bring up what you'll both exist doing a month from now, and then he'll have no reason to worry if he cares for you.
- Listen to how he talks about you and the human relationship. If he never, e'er brings up the future or includes you in his future plans, so he may be playing you.
3
See if he hasn't told whatsoever of his friends most you. If you finally come across his friends or come across his friends and they say something similar, "I didn't know he had a girlfriend…" or just look surprised by your presence, then this is because the guy didn't remember your relationship was serious enough for him to bring it up to his friends. If he cares nigh you lot and you've been seeing each other a while, then he should be excited about the human relationship and should want his friends to know who you are. ^[viii]
- If he's sweet to you when it'due south just the two of you, merely is more than buddy buddy or fifty-fifty distant around his friends, then he may just like to flirt with yous without wanting anything serious.
- Of course, some guys like to human activity tough in front of their friends, and he may not shower you with kisses when you meet them. But if he'south never even told them about you, then he may but be playing you.
4
See if he's reluctant to call you his girlfriend. If you consider him your swain and accept been seeing simply him for months while you've never heard the word "girlfriend" come out of his mouth, then this may be because he doesn't think the relationship is as serious as you call back it is. If he introduces you to people as his friend or even seems like he's non feeling it when yous call him your boyfriend, so it may be considering he's playing you.^[9]
- Sometimes, words do speak louder than actions, and if he refuses to call you his girlfriend though you've been dating for a while, so there must exist a reason behind information technology.
- He may exist afraid of commitment without playing you. If this is the case, you nonetheless demand to take a talk almost it.
5
See how he talks to other girls. If you want to know if he's playing you, and so you should see how he talks to the other girls he knows. Sure, he may be polite and not interested when he talks to other girls if you're standing right next to him, but if y'all run into him talking to a daughter out of the corner of your centre from the other side of the room and he'south being incredibly flirtatious, then this may be because he's playing you.
- If he really likes yous, then he'll observe no need to talk to other girls in a flirtatious fashion. Sure, he can still talk to them and he doesn't have to ignore every girl but you lot, just if you can tell from the way he talks to other girls that he wants more from them than just friendship, and then he may be playing you.
- Though you lot don't want to spy on him or go as well obsessive, if one of your friends is at a party where he's talking to other girls, ask your friend what it was like. Though your friend shouldn't exist likewise obvious well-nigh watching him, y'all may get a meliorate read on the situation this way than y'all would if yous were in the room yourself.
6
See if he's e'er full of excuses. A archetype sign of a player is a man who is always total of excuses. He may exist then shine and so convincing that you don't even observe that he'southward completely lying to you. He may tell y'all about his grandmother getting sick, his dog needing to become to the vet, or nigh how he forgot your date because he "overslept" or had to comfort a friend. Sure, things happen, but if you find that he has a perfect excuse for every little reason why he's disappointed you, then he may be playing yous.
- If you've heard the excuse "my phone died" more than twice, and so chances are, this is not the real reason he didn't telephone call you back.
- If he seems extra sweet and apologetic when he gives you these excuses, so it may be because he'southward covering up the fact that he'south lying.
7
See if he starts acting nervous when you inquire him about his night. Another way to see if he'due south playing you is to only enquire him how his night went if he told you he was staying in or hanging out with his friends. While y'all don't need to ask about every piddling particular of the nighttime, if yous casually merely enquire a few questions near what happened, whether yous ask what motion-picture show he watched when he was staying in lonely or which bar he went to if he was supposedly out with his friends, you should check out his body language and words to see if he gets nervous, starts stuttering, or merely acts uncomfortable.
- Though you lot don't desire to interrogate him, if you lot only ask a few questions without making a big bargain about it, you may fifty-fifty be able to grab him in a lie.
- Inquire him while you're doing something else, similar scrolling through your phone, so he doesn't see that you're really trying to figure him out.

Advert

one
Ask him. If you want to know if a guy is playing y'all, the easiest mode can be to ask him. Though yous may not want to know if he's cheating on you, you can just ask him where you stand with him. If he's non feeling it as much every bit yous are, and so you're better off knowing sooner rather than later. Simply find some time to exist lonely and ask him what his thoughts are about you and your hereafter together. ^[x]
- Though this may not be easy, this is far better than wondering for months. Yous'll have a definitive reply, once and for all. And if he'southward patently lying, so you'll be able to see that, too.
- If yous're really feeling bold, yous can just flat-out ask him if he's cheating. Bespeak to some shady beliefs that has led you to experience this way.
2
Ask your friends what they think. Though it'southward all-time to but ask him yourself, you can likewise go some great feedback from your friends, too. They've been watching the situation unfold and may have a sense of what the human relationship is like from the outside. They may even have a better sense of whether or non he'south playing y'all because they might have seen him with girls without you and may accept a dissimilar impression.
- Tell your friends to be honest with you. They shouldn't prevarication to you just to spare your feelings.
- They can investigate a bit if you really want them to. If information technology won't await too obvious, you tin accept i of your friends casually prove up in a place where your guy is probable to be and to proceed an centre on him to see how he is with other girls. Of grade, if he thinks you've sent a spy in his direction, he'll be on his best beliefs.
3
Consider following him. Okay, and then if you lot really don't intendance about beingness constitute out or breaking his trust, and then one thing you can do is to follow your guy afterwards y'all've been hanging out, or simply when you know he'll be at a certain place, to see what he's been up to. Whether you're driving at a far distance away, walking, or taking the motorcoach, attempt to be far enough abroad that he doesn't see you and to have a fix-made story in instance he does catch you in the act. This can lead you lot to see if he's seeing any other girls—or if he's simply going dwelling house to hang out with his true cat.
- Just know that this is pretty risky behavior that tin lead you lot to get caught. If you're caught and he hasn't been doing anything wrong, this tin can exist a relationship ender for you, so brand sure you actually retrieve following him is a skillful idea before you begin.
four
Prove up at his place when he doesn't look it. Another way to detect out if he'southward playing yous is to show up at his identify unannounced. Yous can popular in an 60 minutes earlier than you said you'd be there to see if there'south a unlike woman at that place or if he's suspiciously cleaning everything upwardly. Yous can also just drop by because you're "in the area" at a time when he'southward supposed to exist studying or home working to bring him some coffee or a care for. When you show up, run across if he's happy to encounter y'all or if he seems nervous, similar he's hiding something—or someone.
- Of course, if it'due south totally absurd that you would show upwards at his business firm out of the blue, then he'll exist on to you. But if you've come over there earlier and it hasn't been a big deal, just try to make it seem natural.
5
Snoop through his things—if you're okay with breaking his trust. Though snooping through your guy's things won't win you any trust points, if you're desperate and feel pretty sure that you want to cheat on him, then you can endeavor looking through his phone or his e-mail, or even looking through his room for suspicious items like female clothing that is obviously not yours. Snooping is a last resort and you should only practice it if you feel like you actually need answers and zero else is working.
- The trouble with snooping is that, even if yous've found evidence, you'll accept to admit that you lot've been going through the guy's things if you want to telephone call him out. This volition make him angry at you, and volition take the focus off the existent situation.
- If you're looking through his telephone, have an excuse prepare in instance he catches you. You can say that your telephone died and that you lot were looking upwards the restaurant where you lot two were having dinner or that you needed to speedily check your email or something. Though this may not be besides disarming, it may exist better than nothing.
six
Try to catch him in a lie. You can also try to catch the guy in a lie to find out if he's playing yous. If he'south mentioned that he hung out with his friends or blood brother the other dark, when you see them, you can enquire almost how the boy's nighttime out went; if they look confused, then you may know that he lied. If he tells a story about how he had to stay home because his sister was having drama, you tin can ask him how she'southward feeling a few days later on; if he acts like he has no idea what you're talking about, and so it may be because he already forgot his own prevarication.
- You lot can even try asking him simple questions like which moving picture he saw if he went to the movies with his friends. If he looks embarrassed or clearly doesn't know the answer, then you'll know that he's playing y'all.
7
Even if at that place's no proof, trust your gut. If you lot just get the feeling that the guy isn't sincere even though you can't discover any proof of it through snooping, so it may exist time to end the relationship. Maybe he's not seeing other girls, just he still tin can be playing with you just because he's not feeling it as much equally you are. As long as you know y'all're not the one with jealousy issues and come across that you have a real reason to be concerned, if you really think he might be playing yous, and then information technology's time to cutting him loose.
- When yous're with a guy who really cares for you and who is there for only you, you lot'll know. Yous won't spend hours calling him and wondering where he is and yous won't have to stoop as low every bit snooping through his things or following him because y'all'll have no reason to exercise it. Y'all'll know that he'southward there for you 100% and that volition be an amazing feeling.

Add New Question

Question

How can you tell if a male child really likes you?

Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York Metropolis. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, one-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

You lot know someone likes you past how they treat yous, how they look at you, and how they talk about y'all and treat you effectually other people. People prove affection in unlike ways, whether it exist through hugs or doing things for y'all, but if someone likes yous, they will be there for you and focused on you.
Question

What do I practice if I know my boyfriend is cheating on me, simply the other girl he is dating is my best friend, and she is madly in love with him?

Dump them both. Clearly he's not loyal and neither is she, what kind of friend falls in love with their best friend'southward boyfriend? And what kind of friend acts on it? Yous tin can't trust either of these people.
Question

I have recently started talking to someone and I am unsure of where nosotros stand. He is not very trusting and he tells me I need to earn my identify as his girl. Should I continue?

If he is telling you that you have to EARN the spot of being his girl then yous should probably movement on. If he truly cared about you he would take yous as you are and not await any more from you. It would probably exist in your all-time involvement to expect around for some other guys and date them, maybe he'll come across what he'south missing or you lot'll find someone improve that is more worthy of you.
Question

My beau inappreciably calls me and he always tells me he'southward busy; he can become for days without calling me, should I quit or continue?

This is an easy one. Tell him that you want a man that can spend fourth dimension with you, and since he'due south likewise decorated, then you are going to expect for someone who tin. Stick to your guns and move on.
Question

I broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn't treating me kindly. Should I have cleaved up with him?

Of grade. At that place's no good reason to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat yous well, peculiarly if information technology's consequent.
Question

We've been dating for 3 months, I am always the i who pays for dinner and makes an endeavour. He is secretive on his telephone. Is he playing me?

It sounds like it. Unless he is doing some very squeamish and thoughtful things for you that you've not mentioned, it sounds like he is taking advantage of you and/or seeing someone else.
Question

What if he just wants to see me in my business firm?

Then he is probably just looking for a quick fling or sex activity with you lot, although it is difficult to know for sure. He may just be stringing you along, and so be careful.
Question

How do I know if he really truly likes me if he's played me earlier, i.eastward., we've had an on-and-off relationship?

You can't know for certain, but if he has told you or shown you that he has changed, that is a good indicator. If he has apologized for by behavior and/or told you he wants to become serious, that's not bad, but all the same exist cautious. If he's done/said zilch, you take no reason to believe he really cares for you lot at all.
Question

What if the guy you are texting becomes all sugariness at first, and then disappears for days on stop, so he shows up again with a text?

If he has no reason, it'due south nearly likely you're non a priority. Move on. A guy who likes you will exist responsible about his deportment.
Question

Is someone playing me if he didn't respond to my text for almost a week and then replied with an apology that he was with a friend?

He might exist playing with y'all, because if he actually loved y'all he would reply faster. He apologized, because he was probably having no other girls to text with.

Meet more answers

Enquire a Question

200 characters left

Include your email accost to get a bulletin when this question is answered.

Submit

Advert

Video

If you tin can't let go, think of all the things he did to hurt yous and make yous experience bad.
Remember, if he is playing with you, let go. If you don't allow become, he'll become a cannon and smash your heart to a billion pieces. That memory will kill yous, haunt you for the rest of your life, and give you nightmare.
Recollect in that location are enough of guys in the ocean, and there are meliorate guys than him.

Don't ask his friends about him.
Tell your best friends only.
Don't talk to other people near him at all.
Never tell him you like him.

Things Yous'll Need

Something to write with.
Notebook.

About This Article

Article Summary Ten

To find out if your human'southward playing with you, pay attending to how he is with you in public. If he's reluctant to concord hands or be affectionate with you, it may be because he doesn't desire people to know you're together. Notice how he introduces you lot to people, since calling you his friend or not introducing you at all may be a sign that he'southward playing y'all. You should also sentry out for your man hiding his phone screen while he's texting or leaving the room to brand private phone calls, which are mutual scarlet flags. For more than tips, including how to take hold of your man in the act, read on!

Did this summary help you?

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 647,880 times.